Should I Read theMangoTimes?
I write theMangoTimes for three people: my wife, my brother-in-law Jeff, and my good friend Byron. Unfortunately, Jeff left us way too early, Byron doesn’t read theMangoTimes and Kendra stopped thinking I was funny back in the early 2000’s. If you didn’t make the list, don’t take it personally—remember, this all started as an email newsletter back in 1995. I wrote to everyone!
That said, I have met strangers over the years who say, "Oh, you’re Fletch—I love what you write in theMangoTimes." At first, I thought that was a little creepy. Now, I just assume there’s someone with a Starbucks internet connection somewhere in China drawing ridiculous conclusions about Americans.
Should you read theMangoTimes or listen to my podcasts? That’s hard for me to answer, so I’m taking the easy way out and giving you a Top Ten list. Don’t think of them as rules—they’re really more like guidelines. Either way, they should help you decide if theMangoTimes is a good use of your time.
Top 10 Reasons You Should Stop Reading theMangoTimes
10. You believe in the eternal remembrance of loved ones by leaving stuffed animals stacked rocks, concrete tombstones, potted plants or Jesus candles on the side of the road (Or vinyl decals on the back of your car's rear window).
I may offend you. Just a teeny tiny bit. (But then again, so will Jerry Seinfeld)
9. You did a Google search for mangos and found this blog and still think that it has something to do with my love for mangos.
It's just the name of the blog. I'm not a fan of mangos.
8. You believe the 70's sucked. I loved the 1970's and I am only going to say positive things about that decade (unless you think the 70's means disco, then I agree with you 100%)
7. You elevate your pets to the status of human or child. I love all animals. I have pages on this site dedicated to my pets. My dog even had a social media account (It's called marketing people). But, I guarantee that if you tuck your dog into your warm-ups and go food shopping or if you let your cats sleep on your pillow or if you share an ice cream cone with them, then I will say something about pet ownership that makes you smack my picture on your computer screen.
6. You are offended when someone says: "I was playing grab-ass with my wife" because that might or something very close to that might happen around here regularly.
5. You actually know my parents in real life, because I don't want to get in trouble for any of the crap I say about them here on theMT.
4. If you think some of these words don't work well together: Christian, Homeschooling, Jesus, Dad, Surfer, Blender Drinks, Willie Nelson, Grab Ass, Church, Tattoos, Movies, Pipe Smoking, Good Wine, Sex, The Grateful Dead, Curse Words, Jimmy Buffett, Religion, The Bible, Country Music and Cold Beer.
Unless, of course, you picked the word religion, because I would agree with you that it doesn't fit.
3. You think the answer to most problems includes getting your politics figured out or getting yourself plugged into the right church.
2. You are easily offended by the word crap. (See #5).
and the number one reason you should stop reading theMangoTimes...
1. You actually have a life.
If you are still here. Hang on. You are either going to have a ball or I'm going to say things that cause you to cringe.
Quietly making noise,